New Interactive Blog Explores the Connection Between Eating Problems and Relationships

I've just come across a new interactive blog from Beverly Price that provides a forum for discussing how eating problems and personal relationships are interconnected. Please share with the people you know who struggle with eating problems.

Channeling Your Orchid's Yetser Hara

I am really not up on my Torah, but the concept of "yetser hara" as described in Wendy Mogel's "Blessing of a Skinned Knee" makes a lot of sense. The way I understand it, yetser hara is one's inclination toward rule-breaking and adventure. Its counterpart, yetser tov, is our inclination to hold these desires in check, to toe the line.

Using these concepts to better understand how parents must tailor their parenting style to a child's personality, it may be useful to think about how orchids may have a more generous dose of "yetser hara" than their dandelion peers. This inclination toward risk-taking, while useful in many settings, seems an obvious disadvantage when breaking a rule might lead to a lack of safety, such as in failing to look both ways to cross the street. With orchids, parents would be wise to choose which rule-following battles to fight. Perhaps a parent might be more lenient about their orchid daughter climbing to the top of the monkey bars unassisted, while sticking to their guns about having an adult present in the kitchen while operating the stove.

I was thinking about how yetser hara would also apply to discipline, namely, that old stand-by, the time out. Children with more yetser tov, might do fine to sit compliantly for three minutes in a time out chair, but orchids might need some help bringing their yetser hara in check. Perhaps parents might prefer to model how one brings oneself under control by sitting quietly for one minute next to their "timed out" youngster. A parent could practice yoga breathing techniques (see early posts for ideas), repeating a mantra, or simply sitting quietly in a meditative, seated position. Whatever one chooses to do to model controlling one's own yetser hara, it seems that getting into a battle of wills with an orchid over discipline is a losing propostion. And yet plenty of well-intentioned parenting books would have you believe otherwise.

I think that's the "art" part of parenting. While parenting books would have you believe there's one magic formula for parenting children, the reality is that our children's temperments run the gamut. Yes, they need to learn discipline, but they also need to challenge themselves to grow and become the unique adult they are meant to be. A skinned knee is indeed a blessing if it allows a child to test her limits safely.

Financial-Anxiety-Proof Your Relationship

I thought this article from the New York Times captures the ways in which our financial anxiety can rear its head in our relationships. I never cease to wonder at the many ways people find to limit anxiety's presence in their lives and relationships (e.g. doing yoga, sure, but watching campy sitcoms? Why not!) I think the important lesson from the article is that while we may each have very different reactions to economic difficulties, it's essential that we understand our partner's and our own ways of coping, and to be supportive of each other's process. Your relationship will be the better for it--in good financial times or bad.

Alternative Treatments for Mood Disorders

With the days growing shorter here in Seattle, it's hard not to notice the way the changing seasons can affect one's mood. Coupled with the recent terrible financial crisis news, there's lots of grist out there for anxiety's and depression's mill.

I've also been thinking about the growing numbers of people who have been laid off (or are due to be laid off) from their jobs, and will be going without health insurance. Without such insurance, the cost of psychopharmacological interventions can be prohibitive. With that in mind, here are a few ideas for (potentially) lower cost alternatives:

Light Therapy: Long recommended as a treatment for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), there is growing evidence (as in this meta-analysis by Gjerdingen) that it can be effective for treating antenatal and postpartum mood disorders. And while phototherapy equipment isn't cheap (I think they go for $250, or thereabouts), it's still less expensive than a month-long trip to Hawaii (which, in my opinion, the government should subsidize for us in the far northern reaches of the U.S., don't you agree?)

Massage Therapy: Gjerdingen also points out that massage therapy has been effective in reducing stress and anxiety symptoms in teenage mothers (a notoriously stressed-out group). Yes, massage therapy can become pricey quickly. It's worth asking at your local massage school or community college about their rates for student massages. (Many charge little or nothing at all in exchange for helping out a massage student.)

Yoga: I've written lots about yoga's beneficial effects on anxiety and depression in this blog. Please see my previous posts for evidence of its efficacy, and particular poses to try for various mood problems.

I'm sure lots of you have ideas about inexpensive ways of coping when mood problems set in. You are welcome to post them in the comments section, so we may all learn from each other's experience and wisdom.

Yoga for Fertility

We are very lucky here in Seattle to have Lynn Jensen among us. Her Yoga for Fertility classes and workshops have helped many women during fertility challenges and other female health problems. Lynn has a kind and reassuring presence and is a genuine teacher of healing the mind and body together through calm and ease. She offers Yoga for Fertility at various Seattle area locations, including West Seattle, University District, and the Eastside.

Follow-up to Yoga Breathing for What Ails You

I was glancing through Harvard Medical School's online dictionary of complementary/alternative medical terms when I came across the listing for yoga. The listing summarizes research done on how yoga has been effective in treating a variety of ailments, including obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety, and other mood problems.

Even the smarty-pants doctors at Harvard say: Remember to Breathe!

Breathing In What You Need, Out What You Don't

I was reminded of a great breathing technique in my yoga class the other day, so I thought I'd share it here. Alternate nostril breathing is easy to do and takes just a minute of your time (though you might end up spending several minutes a day doing it once you get into the rhythm of it.)

Here's how you do it: Place your thumb and ring finger on either side of your nose. Allow your index and middle fingers to rest between your eyebrows. Start by using your ring finger to close one nostril. Breathe through the remaining open nostril. Now, close the nostril with your thumb (the one you just breathed in through), open your ring finger nostril, and breathe out. Repeat the same process, but in reverse, breathing through your ring finger nostril, and exhaling out the thumb side. Simple, yes?

Once you've got the breathing rhythm down, you can add an intention to your breathing. Ask yourself what do I want to let go of, what do I want to make room for? An anti-anxiety intention might involve breathing in self-confidence, breathing out listening to anxiety. An anti-depression intention could feel like breathing in action, breathing out isolation. A sleep-inducing mantra might involve breathing in sleepiness or heaviness, breathing out restlessness. Breathing in messiness and exhaling perfectionism could fit for someone struggling with obsessive-compulsive disorder. You can tailor your intention to fit your unique challenges of the moment. My never-finished intention for acceptance is to breathe in satisfaction for what I have, breathing out envy for what I don't.

You gotta breathe, right? Alternate nostril breathing can take some of the load off of you, and allow your breathing to give something back.

Catching Up to the Clock

Since it is Spring-Ahead Monday, I just wanted to share a little reminder to go easy on ourselves today, as our bodies and brains try to catch up to the clock. Here are 4 reminders to help us be safe and well this week:

1. Allow yourself extra time to drive where you need to go. Or better yet, walk or take public transit until you feel your reaction time returning.

2. Eat a healthy dinner at least 2 hours before bedtime.

3. Choose a quiet, non-anxiety-inducing activity before bed, like reading, meditation, listening to music, or knitting (unless, of course, you're like me and would consider knitting an anxiety-inducing activity).

4. If possible, try to fit in 20 minutes or more of exercise, preferably in the beginning or middle of the day. Those yogis among us might like to try sun salutations first thing in the morning. Others might like to walk during lunch break, bike to work, or run around the park with your kids. No kids, you say? Then bring a basketball or soccer ball to the park and you are sure to meet some!

Tuning Your Instrument

In the Yoga Therapeutics workshop I attended today with veteran teacher J.J. Gormley, she used the metaphor of body as instrument. I think this is a particularly apt metaphor in thinking about the mind-body connection. When mind is "in tune", everything is in balance. Anxiety and depression can cause our instrument to go out of tune. Depression can cause our instrument to go flat. Tightening up the strings will bring the instrument back into tune. Anxiety makes our instrument play sharp. In that case, the strings need to be slackened.

Depression is an introverting force (or, langana, in Sanskrit) that encourages us to fold inward, close down. To bring the body back into balance (samana), start with the inclination to fold in, and gently coax the body outward. One way to do this is to start in staff pose. Inhale. Exhale and bend at the waist into a seated forward bend with your shins as your drishti, or focal point. Return to staff pose. Now, try seated forward bend, but make your toes your drishti. Come in and out of seated forward bend several times, moving your drishti incrementally higher each time, while noting any differences in your body's tuning in each subsequent staff pose. (Note: in order to keep your neck long, you will be bending less and less at the waist each time, keeping your head, neck, and torso in good alignment.) After doing the seated forward bend with your focal point at different heights, close the practice with your eyes focused on your shins one more time. What differences do you notice on your mind and body between holding your gaze outward versus downward?

Anxiety, on the contrary, is an agitating force (or in Sanskrit,brhmana), keeping the mind very busy. Start in table-top position. Inhale for 6 counts into cow pose. Exhale for 4 counts into cat. Repeat this a few times. Then equalize your breath for five counts each in cat and cow. After a few repetitions of equal breaths in cat and cow, shorten the inhale into cow to 4 breaths, and lengthen the exhale into cat to 6 breaths. Rest in child's pose. Notice if lengthening your exhale has had any effect on your instrument. Repeat the exercise again, keeping an awareness of how the change in breath alters the tuning of your instrument.

In your home practice, play around with poses using different gazing points or breathing techniques. Note which you experience as calming and which as energizing. When you start to sense anxiety or depression tapping on your shoulder, refer back to your catalogue of poses and implement those counter-balancing poses that could bring your instrument back into balance.