The Self-Care Challenge

Making time for self-care is difficult even under the best of circumstances, but throw a baby (or two or three) into the mix, and self-care is often the first thing to be thrown out with the proverbial bath water. With that in mind, Ann Dunnewold and Diane Sanford started this new blog to create a new and sustaining self-care regimen in just 21 days. In three weeks, parents can develop the habits of mind and body to care for themselves as well as they do their little ones.

To Use or Not to Use Antipsychotic Drugs on Children

My friend Ruthie is getting her PhD in couples and family therapy, which is great because (A): she is super smart and hard-working, and (B): she shares her readings with me, so I don't have to go to the trouble of hunting down the latest research myself!

So, this recent article she shared piqued my interest because many families struggle with the question of whether to medicate a young child who has violent outbursts.

I've seen it both ways. Some kids are really helped by medication, but ONLY IF they are properly diagnosed and treated. Others are mis-diagnosed and over-medicated. By the time they reach 13 or 14 years-old, they realize they've been mistreated and are really, really angry and distrustful of the health system and the adults around them. And either way, it still leaves open the question of what the long-term effects are of antipsychotics on young children. We just don't have the long-term case studies to know with certainty what the outcome will be.

Kyle's family's story illustrates that when family's like his are given counseling and other social supports, children's behavior changes. And at least with counseling, we know there are no long-term biological effects. Long-term social-emotional effects, yes indeed, but physiological harm: no way!

Back to School Anxiety

Time once again to get out the backpacks, lunch boxes, pencils, and erasers. All over, students are getting ready to go back to the classroom. While some excitedly anticipate the first day of school, others look on that day with dread. Here are three strategies to help your nervous student (or yourself, all you adult learners out there!) face the first day:

1. Remember a time you faced a great anxiety-inducing task, and did it anyway.

A favorite personal example of mine was the time I jumped off the high-diving board. I was probably 8 or 9 years old, and I really wanted to jump off the high dive. I had climbed to the top of the stairs several times, each time getting a little farther down the board before turning back. After several attempts, I finally inched my way to the end of the board. It felt like my heart was beating in my stomach. The fear made me want to turn back, but I told myself: I've come this far, just jump. And I did. We can't feel brave without feeling fear first.

2. Find someone else to commisserate with.

Anxiety dislikes company. Talk to another friend or student about first-day jitters. Perhaps you'll find you're not alone. For some, hearing yourself say, "I feel anxious" actually takes away some of the anxiety's power.

3. Focus on a positive counterfactual.

I must give credit to Allison Gopnik's book, "The Philosophical Baby" for introducing me to the "counterfactual". The term "counterfactual" describes mental play where one imagines what could be or what might have been. Anxiety produces counterfactuals in which one experiences minor discomfort to horrible catastrophe. Consider other counterfactuals other than the ones anxiety would describe, such as: "This year I will make a new friend", or, "This year I will excel at math." Throughout the first day, focus on signs that your counterfactual is coming true.

Welcome back to school!

Northern Ireland Proves that Therapeutic Care--Not Incarceration--Keeps Juveniles from Re-offending

I was saying, "Hmm-hmm, yes, yes, amen!" while listening to this story from the BBC while driving home tonight. It--literally!--drove home that adolescents who commit crimes can lives free of criminal behavior. Incarceration and probation, however, do not have nearly the lasting effects of facing consequences as laid out by the victims in face-to-face meetings. There are no victim-less crimes, but too often, there are victim-absent judgments and sentencing. Talk about having to face the consequences!

The Moral Life of Babies

I loved this article in The New York Times that suggests that we are hard-wired to be fair and cooperative, even in infancy. Those "random acts of kindness" perhaps aren't so random after all...

Because You are (or You Know) a Mom who Needs a Night Out

All right, ladies, bring on the sequins and taffeta: It's prom time! (Only this time it's for a cause better than overcoming awkwardness and proving your date's got nothing on your dance moves.)


THE MOM PROM:
DANCING, DRINKS, DESSERT
FOR A GREAT CAUSE

8 P.M. TO MIDNIGHT
APRIL 10
NAVAL RESERVE BUILDING, SOUTH LAKE UNION

ADVANCE TICKETS: $35
(that includes 2 drinks)
www.seattlemomprom.com

"I started thinking about putting together the Seattle Mom Prom when I became a parent and realized how crucial having a solid support system is for mothers. I wanted to organize an event for women to honor and celebrate moms, and support a great organization like Postpartum Support International of Washington," said Myla Rugge, founder of the Seattle Mom Prom.

All proceeds from the Seattle Mom Prom will directly benefit Postpartum Support International (PSI) of Washington, a non-profit organization designed to support and educate women, families and professionals about Postpartum Mood Disorders (PPMD). For more information about PSI of WA, please contact 1-888-404-PPMD (7763) or visit www.ppmdsupport.com.

No one Needs to Suffer Alone

Alexa Aguilar, a freelance reporter for the Chicago Tribune, wrote a recent piece urging women who are suffering symptoms of a postpartum mood disorder to get help.

Firstly, amen, Alexa, amen!

Secondly, I was caught off-guard by this sentence: "At the hospital, we were all handed information about the warning signs of postpartum depression and anxiety."

Now, I remember getting lots of information about baby care at the hospital, but nothing about ppmds, or was I just too groggy to remember? Or is Seattle just behind Chicago on this issue?

Regardless, yes, Alexa is right: help is out there! (In Washington state, check www.ppmdsupport.com for resources near you.)